“Should” is the new S word

By Primitive Spark

“Should” is basically a swear word. 

During a recent internal discussion about mindset (which we do every Monday), we started talking about the word “should” and how it’s not really serving anybody.

This word has 2 parts – a component of reflection, and a component of judgment. 

It’s good to reflect so we can learn from the past, but being judgmental about what happened doesn’t make anything better. Here’s an example:

“We SHOULD have had the development team weigh in earlier.”

It’s good to reflect so we can learn from the past, but there’s an element of judgment and shame in here. It feels like “we blew it.”

Instead, use the word “want.” An example of how to reframe this would be:

“We WANT the development team to weigh in earlier.”

Feel the difference? Both have the reflection component, but the latter removes the judgment. 

We are all human, and we are all learning as we go. And that’s a good thing! It’s part of the journey of life. Having grace for our mistakes and gratitude for new awareness is the key to a brighter future, and a smoother ride along the way. 🙂

So the next time you’re feeling “shouldy,” reflect and reframe using the word “want.”

#wholeperson #mindset #design #designthinking #product #prodmgmt #productteams #primitivespark